I get that there’s a whole generation of people who think poop is funny. I stand with them – a giant among men, because whereas I am actually a man, I’m pretty sure everyone else who thinks poop is funny is, like, six years old.
So, yeah – I laughed at this story. Bet the cops didn’t, though.
On February 21st, officers from the Corsicana Police Department in Texas were sent to a local HEB grocery store to investigate a report of theft. While in the midst of the investigation, officers Bobby Williams and Michael Worthy had to deal with the suspect, a 32-year-old woman named Shannen Martin, as she began to resist arrest.
The officers placed her in handcuffs and put her into the back seat of the police car. As the cops were driving her to the police station, she decided to try something… unique to hide the incriminating drug evidence she possessed.
There’s no other way to say this: Miss Martin let loose and pooped in her pants right in the back of the cop car, attempting to conceal a crack pipe, 2.3 g of crack cocaine, and a Valentine’s Day card in her excrement.
The police did not discover the hidden drugs and paraphernalia until Miss Martin was in the booking process. Officer Worthy was assigned the unworthy honor of sifting through the woman’s bowel movement to retrieve the evidence. She was subsequently charged with Tampering with Evidence, and Possession of a Controlled Substance.
The entire repulsive episode was summarized by the Corsicana Police Department in a single sentence: “This is scientific proof that drugs will fry your brain folks :)”
Are we just, like, not going to talk about the Valentine’s Day Card?
No. No, we are not.
I couldn’t get a date on V-Day, and this woman had someone to buy a card for?
Yes, she did. Also, I’m sorry you were dateless.
Back to the drugs?
Back to the drugs.
The consequences of any drug conviction depend heavily on the specific nature and details of the case. Although a small time simple possession charge may land you a fine and a short jail sentence, drug manufacturing or trafficking, along with other added offenses, can put you away for a long time, potentially the rest of your life. Regardless of your charge, you need a powerful defense offered by an aggressive Maryland drug crime attorney to fight for your rights and freedom. You can’t afford to face the prosecution without a strong advocate on your side.
At Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law, I’ve been serving clients in Annapolis and throughout Maryland for about 20 years. If you are in the crosshairs of a drug crime charge and need immediate help, call my office today at 410.777.8103 or complete my contact form to schedule a consultation. We can discuss together the best course of action to defend you vigorously against these allegations.
Facing drug charges? Just remember: Keep Calm – and Call Drew.