Texas Man Steals $1.2 Million Worth of Fajitas, Because of Course He DidGilberto Escaramilla, an employee of the juvenile justice department, has been arrested for the theft of $1.2 million dollars of fajitas over nine years. If you’re wondering what kind of fancy juvenile justice department serves fajitas, it doesn’t. The whole enchilada –see what I did there? – came crashing down when Mr. Escaramilla missed a day of work and a delivery of 800 pounds of fajitas showed up for him. An eagle-eyed employee noted that the fajitas had never appeared on the menu of the facility.

Even the scams are bigger in Texas, I guess.

What do you even DO with that many fajitas?

There are some obvious questions of logistics to this crime; namely, how much is one fajita worth, and how many pounds do you have to steal per year to earn $1.2 million? But the details continue to baffle and amaze me. After he was fired from the juvenile justice department, he was charged with theft and made bail. At that point, other employees began to wonder if perhaps the massive fajita redistribution scenario wasn’t an isolated incident and looked through back records. The theft had been going on for nearly a decade, netting over a million dollars in beefy, cheesy, spicy fajitas. Even after Escaramilla was linked to the extra 800 pounds of fajitas and fired, he was still so bad at covering his tracks that when officials tracked him down to arrest him, they found the fajitas in his fridge. Pro tip: when you get fired for diverting massive amounts of Mexican food, maybe don’t keep some on hand in case you get peckish at 2am.

It turns out that Mr. Escaramilla had an entire infrastructure set up to deliver his illicit fajitas to customers. I did not know there was a black market in microwavable Mexican food, but Texas never disappoints. Two customers have become informants against the accused, giving police all the details about delivery times and frequency. Taxpayers in Cameron County are understandably upset by the revelation that their tax dollars weren’t going towards the containment and reeducation of young people.

While invoices were provided for every unlawful fajita delivery, the county has not addressed who blindly signed off on them, nor what type of punishment would be appropriate.

Now, this is the point where I usually lay out what the punishment for this would be in Maryland, but the truth is, I have no idea what it would be. No one here has ever done anything like this. Texas charged him with felony theft, but Maryland’s felony theft only covers up to $10,000 worth of merchandise. More likely, he’d be charged with grand theft. Since the total value amounted to $1.2 million, Mr. Escaramilla would be looking at 25 years and $25,000 in fines – plus restitution, I’d assume.

At Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law, I know that sometimes, you just want a fajita, regardless of whether you pay out of pocket or use company funds to order 800 pounds at a time. I also know that theft charges can land you in hot water pretty quick, so you’ll need an Annapolis criminal defense lawyer on your side. Please call 410-777-8103 or complete my contact form to schedule an initial conversation. Just remember: Keep Calm – and Call Drew.