“Lawyer Bitten by Shark” and Other Jokes That Write Themselves

Everyone loves to make fun of lawyers, even though they know that lawyers are the protectors of democracy and citizens’ rights. A recent story highlighted that point. A personal injury lawyer, according to a recent story, stated that he was bitten by a shark during his morning swim in the Wilmington River – on Father’s Day of all days. The Georgia attorney stated that he was just 20 feet away from the dock when he felt like he was punched.

He said “I hollered and skedaddled over to my boat, which was tied to the dock.” He managed to maneuver back into the boat. Fortunately, the shark bite wasn’t a full bite or he might have died or suffered serious injuries. He did say the shark’s teeth struck his chest and the area under his arm. Fortunately, the bite didn’t hit any blood vessels, bone, or muscle.

The lawyer said he felt really lucky and “good to go.” He did need 23 stitches. And, no, the lawyer is not planning to file a claim against the shark. The personal injury says he’s been practicing law for nearly 35 years and has lived near the water for 28 years. He says the shark was probably just after smaller fish. By the size of the bite, doctors estimate that the shark was four to six feet long.

Lawyer humor

Most lawyers have heard most lawyer jokes. Some are even funny. I polled the office, and these were the “dad humor” lawyer jokes we liked best:

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?

A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on. (Ba-Zing!)

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

Why lawyers are truly on your side

Shakespeare was known for the quote, “The first thing we do/ Let’s Kill all the Lawyers” in the play Henry VI. What most people don’t know is that the remark was a defense of lawyers. The character in the play said it to point out that civilized societies need lawyers and that if you kill them, then there will just be anarchy. The line was recited by a character who believed he could become king if there was no law and order. Shakespeare used the dialogue and the line to show that we need lawyers and judges to preserve justice.

Lawyers provide a much needed valuable service, especially if you are arrested. The need for lawyers and trials by juries is recognized in the US Constitution. Criminal defense lawyers:

  • Protect your constitutional rights including the right to be free from warrantless searches or searches without probable cause
  • Hold the government to its duty to set defendants free if they can’t prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt
  • Confront the witnesses against you – again, that’s in the Constitution
  • Fight to have illegally obtained evidence suppressed and to require police to follow proper procedures
  • Work to show you are innocent of the charges

At Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law, our Annapolis criminal defense lawyers fight for your rights. We demand that prosecutors and police prove each part of each charge or dismiss or reduce the charges. We have the experience and skills to negotiate fair plea agreements and to persuasively argue your case before a jury. To schedule an appointment with a premier criminal defense lawyer in Annapolis, Centreville, or Ellicott City, call us at 410.777.8103, or fill out the contact form.

And remember: Keep Calm, and Call Drew.

 

 

About the Author:

Drew Cochran
Drew Cochran has practiced criminal defense law in Annapolis for more than 20 years. He is a member of the Maryland State Bar, Anne Arundel County Bar, and the Maryland Criminal Defense Attorneys’ Association. Named a “Leading Attorney” by What’s Up Magazine: Annapolis in 2011, Mr. Cochran handles criminal defense, DUI defense, juvenile law, and all felony and misdemeanor defense throughout Maryland.Read Full Bio

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