Forget Your Nuts. Protect Your Treats.

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Forget Your Nuts. Protect Your Treats.

	Forget Your Nuts. Protect Your Treats.Police officers put their lives on the line every day to protect the community at large. They never know what they’re going to walk into when they get a call. Such was the case this past December 29 when they received a call from a residence in upstate New York, notifying them about an intruder. This intruder had broken into a home and was currently in the kitchen, eating cookies and refusing to leave. The homeowner, Susan Zinck, called the police to have the criminal removed, as he was becoming aggressive.

When authorities arrived, Zinck directed them toward the kitchen, where the radio was blasting. When the officers asked her to turn down the music, they learned the intruder turned on the radio himself. The officers entered the kitchen, and, in a shocking turn of events, the perpetrator attacked both cops, biting one.

Then it hid behind the stove, because the intruder turned out to be, in fact, a squirrel.

To the entire internet’s delight, the exchange was caught on body cam, which you can enjoy in its full glory on the Brockport Police Department’s Facebook page.

Ultimately, nobody was harmed, except perhaps the squirrel’s pride, when it became so confused it ran out of the house and then actually ran back in while it was trying to escape. (Hey, we’ve all panicked at one point or another, little buddy.) Although the squirrel did bite one of the officers when he picked it up, the officer was wearing gloves and the animal’s teeth didn’t penetrate. The officer carried the perp outside and released him (or perhaps her; nobody had a chance to fully investigate).

Let’s be honest—this is a goofy story, and the visuals make it even better. Add in the fact that the homeowner had armed herself with a flyswatter and you have all the makings for an episode of a sitcom. So let’s take it a bit further and see how this squirrel’s crimes would play out in real life, if the perp had been human.

  • Breaking and entering: Zinck said the squirrel chewed its way in through a bathroom wall. Obviously, this is not a lawful way of entering a home.
  • Theft: The squirrel took and ate Christmas cookies without the homeowner’s permission or knowledge.
  • Assault: When the officers approached the squirrel, it violently threw itself into one of them and bounced off the other.
  • Resisting arrest: After trapping it behind the stove, one of the officers picked up the squirrel, and it promptly bit him.

Buddy “Lawless” Squirrel is looking at quite the list of charges here. All for a cookie.

If you find yourself in a similar situation as this little guy—although I really hope it’s not the same situation—you’re going to need a savvy attorney on your side.

At Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law, I help clients build solid criminal defense strategies. To speak with a skilled Annapolis defense lawyer, contact me today at 410-777-8103 – or complete my contact form  to schedule an initial conversation. Just remember: Keep Calm – and Call Drew.

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We wanted to sincerely thank you for all you did to help [our child] through this difficult phase of his life. The additional time that you spent and your effort to take a personal interest in his welfare and progress was certainly far beyond what one would expect. We are most grateful and pleased with your professional services but let's hope we don't have to rely on them in the future.

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2016-10-17T12:53:57+00:00

~ Client

We wanted to sincerely thank you for all you did to help [our child] through this difficult phase of his life. The additional time that you spent and your effort to take a personal interest in his welfare and progress was certainly far beyond what one would expect. We are most grateful and pleased with your professional services but let's hope we don't have to rely on them in the future.

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This is a lawyer that cares about who you are and helping you through the situation. Dealing with such life impacting challenge can be overwhelming, yet Mr. Cochran treats you like family and takes his time to understand your case as well as how it is impacting you. He provides exceptional law support based upon his years of experience and knowledge. Mr. Cochran is someone that you want on your side.

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2017-03-24T14:01:06+00:00

Client

This is a lawyer that cares about who you are and helping you through the situation. Dealing with such life impacting challenge can be overwhelming, yet Mr. Cochran treats you like family and takes his time to understand your case as well as how it is impacting you. He provides exceptional law support based upon his years of experience and knowledge. Mr. Cochran is someone that you want on your side.

Client

I want to thank you for your representation of [our] case. You did a wonderful job in bringing the truth to the jury. You were magnificent in the court room. You gave us our day in court. Thank You.

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2016-10-17T12:54:27+00:00

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I want to thank you for your representation of [our] case. You did a wonderful job in bringing the truth to the jury. You were magnificent in the court room. You gave us our day in court. Thank You.

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Thank you for guiding me through this process. You were efficient and results oriented but also understanding of my bigger picture. I appreciate your patience in listening to my concerns. However, at the end of the day, results matter and you provided the best results for a very serious matter. I would recommend you to anyone facing a district court matter.

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2016-10-17T12:53:19+00:00

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Thank you for guiding me through this process. You were efficient and results oriented but also understanding of my bigger picture. I appreciate your patience in listening to my concerns. However, at the end of the day, results matter and you provided the best results for a very serious matter. I would recommend you to anyone facing a district court matter.

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The best lawyer I ever had or dealt with. Very easy to communicate and always able to speak to you without having you wait for days for an answer. Every time he has said something he will take care of that day he actually has done it and took care of it. 

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2016-10-02T18:41:06+00:00

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The best lawyer I ever had or dealt with. Very easy to communicate and always able to speak to you without having you wait for days for an answer. Every time he has said something he will take care of that day he actually has done it and took care of it. 

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Drew Cochran is an outstanding defense attorney. Seasoned, savvy, and smart, he knows the law and understands how to apply it to get the maximum benefit for his client. He keeps his eye on the big picture—getting the best results possible—while attending to the smallest details to ensure success. He is accessible, responsive, and user-friendly, while communicating clearly with the client. And with a fair, single-fee, cost structure for his services, he is also cost-effective and economical, and doesn’t “keep the hourly-rate meter running” for the time he invests in the case. If you’re looking for a super-effective attorney who can get results even against the odds, Drew Cochran should be your choice. Sign me VHC for Very Happy Client

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Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law
2017-11-16T15:00:24+00:00

~ Client

Drew Cochran is an outstanding defense attorney. Seasoned, savvy, and smart, he knows the law and understands how to apply it to get the maximum benefit for his client. He keeps his eye on the big picture—getting the best results possible—while attending to the smallest details to ensure success. He is accessible, responsive, and user-friendly, while communicating clearly with the client. And with a fair, single-fee, cost structure for his services, he is also cost-effective and economical, and doesn’t “keep the hourly-rate meter running” for the time he invests in the case. If you’re looking for a super-effective attorney who can get results even against the odds, Drew Cochran should be your choice. Sign me VHC for Very Happy Client
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