A DUI or DWI charge is frightening. Either charge means you got busted driving while under the influence of alcohol or while impaired. Normally, the police in a DWI case must also present other evidence of impairment such as slurred speech or failing a field sobriety test in order to get those charges to stick.
The consequences for either a DUI or DWI can include prison time, fines, loss of driving privileges, and other consequences. So we understand that a lot of people will say or do anything to get themselves out of trouble. So when our friends across the pond created this list of the most hilarious excuses for avoiding a drunk or drugged driving charge, well – we just had to share it with you. We’ve picked a few of our favorites.
Someone actually said that to get out of a DUI?
Here are a few gems.
- “I didn’t realize I was over the limit.” The police stopped a man who was swerving across a rod. Even though his BAC was twice the legal limit, he claimed he wasn’t aware he was intoxicated. This is probably the most common excuse we hear, and we can tell you from experience – it almost NEVER works, especially when the driver is significantly over the legal limit.
- “The designated driver was also drunk.” According to her solicitor (England uses the term solicitor for the defense lawyer), the teenager drover herself because her ride got drunk. This is a terrible excuse for a lot of reasons, and no judge is gonna fall for it. After all, we live in a country with Uber and Lyft; there’s no excuse for not having a DD at your fingertips anymore.
- “I had only drunk three bottles of Stella.” Stella is a Belgian beer and three bottles of it – well, it’s a lot. Aside from that, though, there’s this belief out there that somehow, only drinking X number of anything will keep you under the limit. It won’t. Your blood alcohol limit (BAC) is determined by a lot of factors. The more you drink, the higher it will be, but how your body processes alcohol is largely determined by your genetics. Plus, three bottles in how much time? Nine hours? Twenty minutes? It matters.
- “The whisky helped my toothache.” We bet it did. We’re just gonna let this one lie.
- “No officer, it’s just your faulty breathalyzer.” We’re the first ones to rail against how breath tests are garbage, but no one believes a drunk person when he or she says it. It’s our job to prove the breath tests didn’t work or is inadmissible, not yours.
- “Not me officer, I was in bed.” The driver tried to say he was in bed when the car accident happened. What really happened was he was over the limit when the collision happened. He ran home in a panic.
- “I’ve got exams to worry about.” A student who was on Xanax and cannabis and overturned his car told the court he was high because he was nervous about exams. The court, we assume, didn’t care. Neither would a court here. Again, we have Uber and Lyft. Also, it’s illegal to drive while high.
Someone actually DID that to get out of a DUI?
Yes. Yes, someone actually did:
- Fake a seizure. A man tried to avoid being charged with refusing a breath test by faking a seizure while he was in custody. In court, the man got out of his car and curled into a ball to show he was having a seizure. A nurse stepped in, took his blood pressure, and said that the man was faking.
- Literally crash a party and blame his wife. A British man had a BAC three times above the legal limit after having an argument with his partner. He took her car even though he’d been drinking lager during the day. When the partner said he needed to bring the car back, he drove the car straight into the property.
- Blame an octopus. The driver had taken a mix of ten drugs when he got into his vehicle. He later crashed it. The man explained that “he had to dodge an octopus and whitebait on the road when they attended the crash.” He continued by talking about other sea creatures and “reading an imaginary book about hedgehogs.” The article didn’t say, but we suspect the magistrate found his defense a little fishy.
Some of these excuses are “better” than others – that octopus one made all of us laugh – but the truth is that there is virtually no excuse that will work to get you out of a DUI. So if you’re facing charges for driving drunk or high, you’re gonna need a lawyer on your side to help you.
At Drew Cochran, Attorney at Law, our experienced DUI and DWI defense lawyer is a skilled criminal defense lawyer. He fights to show the police didn’t have grounds to stop you. He fights to show your Constitutional rights were violated. He often argues that the breath test machines weren’t reliable. He argues the police can’t prove its case. To discuss how a respected drunk driving lawyer fights for his clients, call us as soon as you’ve been arrested. You can make an appointment in Annapolis or Ellicott City by phoning 410-271-1892 or filling out our contact form.
And remember: Keep Calm – and Call Drew.